"She wasn't as memorable as our past speakers."
'Not memorable? I've got people yelling PUNCH IT MARGARET across airports and hotel lobbies for crying out loud!' I thought defensively as I read the feedback.
Then I proceeded to cross my arms, stick out my bottom lip and have a terrible day. Have you ever noticed that despite getting 98% positive feedback, the one comment that isn't sunshine and rainbows sticks to you like one of those sticky mouse traps that you shake and shake and shake but just can't get off your hand?
Once I stopped pouting, I put on my big girl pants and courageously thought about that particular presentation. I identified a few things that yes, I could have done better/differently to help my message land better with the audience. I also remembered a few times I'd seen speakers/coaches/teachers do one little thing, and BAM, I was turned off and stopped listening. (I'm not proud of it, but it's true!)
When we get negative feedback at work, in a relationship or anywhere else in our lives, it feels good to get defensive. We like to remind ourselves of all the good feedback we've gotten, and how not everyone is going to like us, and not look directly at the feedback and just move on with our head held high. And doing that IS IMPORTANT.... because you're not a taco...you're a unique lovable little snowflake with moments of imperfection.
But if we remind ourselves of our brilliance before we explore the negative feedback, we miss the chance to grow.
So even though it stings...put down your shield, and really consider the feedback. What can you take from it to help you be better in the future. Don't take it personally (even if you suspect it was intended that way) but take it as a gift. (a gift that sucks to unwrap!)
Then once you've mined the gifts, NOW it's time to remind yourself what a fabulous sparkle pony you are, how many people love what you do, how often you completely kick a**, and how mature you are for courageously examining your imperfections!
Then go forth and get back to being AMAZING!!!
Go get 'em Tiger!
