“I’m sorry ladies and gentlemen, we will be returning to the gate. We can’t fly this plane.”
That’s the last thing you want to hear at 7:00 PM on a Friday flight home after a brutal week. Cue the collective passenger groan. We grabbed our bags, trudged off the plane, and prepared for a long night of airport misery.
But miracle of miracles…we reboarded a brand-new plane within an hour.
As we found our seats again, the vibe on the plane was completely different. People were making eye contact.
We smiled and said, “Haven’t we done this before?”
Another pointed and joked, “Hey, you were on my last plane!”
I even started talking to the woman sitting next to me (something I never do) and we had a positively delightful conversation.
As I sat there delighting in all my new friends, I was fascinated by what happened…
- On Plane #1, we were isolated, staring at our phones, tucked safely into our polite little bubbles.
- On Plane #2, we were warm, chatty, and connected.
The people didn’t change. The environment didn’t even really change. What changed was that a minor disaster forced us out of our routine. It dragged us kicking and screaming into the discomfort zone, and that’s exactly where we woke up.
Then I thought of a few other examples…
- My friend Kelly’s paddleboard popped the other day while we were rafting up watching a diving competition. She immediately got rescued by a random kayaker, and boom, we were all friends!
- 18 months ago, a North Carolina snowstorm canceled flights and stranded a bunch of us overnight. I met Rashida in the bar and we’re still friends today!
- It’s the same energy that bonds my friend’s AA karaoke crew or my mom’s cancer support group.
We spend so much of our lives trying to optimize for maximum comfort and total predictability. We want smooth sailing, no delays, and zero friction. But the hidden danger of absolute comfort is that it makes us numb. It puts our brains on autopilot.
Sometimes, it takes a pattern interrupt like a broken plane, a popped paddleboard, some kind of sudden shift in plans to shake us awake and remind us how to be human with the humans around us.
How to snap out of it today (without the airport trauma):
Want to feel like the world isn’t full of angry, closed-off jerks? (because it genuinely is not, and it’s a great feeling when you realize it!) You don’t have to wait for your travel plans to go haywire…a micro-dose of discomfort should do the trick!
How? Change the script on a daily habit.
Tomorrow, consciously break a minor routine.
- If you always wear headphones during your subway commute, leave them in your pocket and look at the world. I remember fondly the moment I made eye contact with a random stranger while stifling laughter as a very fit young man danced his sparkly speedo off (wearing nothing else) while listening to an old school 80s Walkman with the orange foamy headphones on a Brooklyn train back in 2013!
- If you always order through an app, go to the counter and smile as you talk to the barista! I’ve had so many fun interactions when I am present with the person behind the counter.
- If you always sit in the back of the room, try the front row!
When you intentionally disrupt your comfort, you force your brain to tune in and you open the door for serendipity, connection, and a little bit of that “Plane #2” magic.
Comfort isn’t where it’s at my friends…come dance in the discomfort zone with me!!
Come and get ‘em Tiger!
