Who hasn’t, right?
I can remember some of the things I’ve said when I was angry or intimidated so distinctly, it still makes me cringe when I think of it.
OR...I clam up and say nothing, and spend the rest of the night saying, “I should have said…” or “I wish I’d said…”. Either that, or I lash out and do something that make the situation so much worse, clamming up would have been a much better alternative.
Reacting emotionally to a difficult situation happens to people all the time, and saying things that don’t help the situation is common. (or not doing something that would have helped the situation.)
Want to get better at this? Try THE DEBRIEF!
When the situation is over, and you’re replaying the unpleasantness that just ensued, answer these 5 questions.
- What did I do/say?
- What do I wish I’d done/said?
- What am I glad I did/said? (because we often forget that we did something right!)
- What will I do/say again next time?
- What will I do/say differently next time?
I recommend writing it down, or saying it to a friend. Heck, I like talking it out to my favorite trio; me, myself and I. (yes, I’m the one talking to myself in traffic!)
Putting it in words, whether in writing or in speech rather than just thinking about it, will crystalize the changes you want and make it more likely that you’ll activate them in the future. Then your EQ will improve, and your influence will skyrocket!
How about DEM apples!
Have a Happy Halloween Weekend!!
