I'M TERRIFIED TO FAIL!
I hear it all the time. "I wish I could..." and "If I knew I wouldn't fail I would...".
So often we don’t do things because we are worried we’ll fail. We don’t go for that promotion. We don’t try out for the community theatre production of that show we’ve always wanted to be in. We don’t sign up for that gym program or that mastermind or to lead our professional association, of whatever that scary thing we want to do is.
FAIL!
Why do I always hear a scary sound effect like this one in my head when I hear that word. It sounds so permanent. It sounds so…..FINAL!
And that's some stinkin' thinkin' right there!
We need to switch our thinking around with this word. It's only failure if you quit and you don't learn anything from it. Failure really means that things didn't going exactly as we’d planned, expected or wanted. It shouldn't be a stop sign. It should be a yield sign that says "ok, regroup, learn, and GO!"
If the Wright brothers had heard the scary sound effect when they failed to get their first plane off the ground, I might not be in Philly right now celebrating the long weekend with friends.
If Edison had freaked out and not tried because he was worried about failure, I might be sitting in the dark right now. No! They saw “failure” not as a terrible blow, but as a learning experience.
The fact is, Orville Wilber and Thomas weren’t any more mentally tough than you. You are as amazing at figuring things out as they are. (You might just have decided to focus on something other than planes and light bulbs.)
Think about it. Ok, do this with me.
Grab a piece of paper and make a list of all the things that didn’t go the way you expected that you figured out anyway. Yes, right now.
I’ll wait.
This could take a while…
Ok that’s enough, I don’t have all day. (you can finish later!)
See? I didn't even give you enough time to finish and you've already got so many things on your list.
In the moment of fear, when we’re hesitating because we’re afraid to fail, we grossly underestimate our ability to figure things out. So yes, weigh the negatives. Don’t abandon your judgement, but then remind yourself of all the things you’ve worked through in the past. Decide how likely the negatives are, and think about the reality of being able to figure them out….then PUNCH IT MARGARET™. (See page 58 of GET OVER IT! my book on dealing with the discomforts of change, or my Change keynote for who Margaret is.)
Go for it…even if everything doesn’t go exactly as you’d hoped (which it usually doesn’t) you’ll figure it out!!
