Fall 2024: I get a text from my high school friend RuthAnn.
Do you want to go to Croatia with me and 26 of my friends next fall?
She had told me about trips with the group before and they sounded amazing. Rafting the Grand Canyon. Biking the islands of Greece. Laughing until their sides hurt. Deep discussions late into the night. They sounded like a wonderful group of people and the trips sounded right up my alley.
But they had all been friends for decades. They had history. They had officiated each other’s weddings, delivered each others babies, (literally!) worked together, attended funerals, celebrations and other life events together. They were bonded. I was an outsider.
I also know and madly respect my friend RuthAnn (Check out the Dancing in the Discomfort Zone podcast episode with her below.) She’s a very impressive, open, emotionally intelligent human! I knew if she was inviting me that I wouldn’t be an outsider for long.
So I said YES!
And it was AMAZING!
They immediately included me. They had inside jokes, but we created new inside jokes on the trip. They welcomed me into the conversations and we stayed up late at night. We lived in close quarters on a boat, got up early and biked up many hills on the stunning islands of Croatia.
I started the trip with 26 strangers and now I have 26 new friends.
So often we exclude ourselves from experiences.
- We don’t join in the debate in the work meeting.
- We don’t show up for the networking event in the new town.
- We avoid starting a conversation with the interesting couple at the next table over.
- We let our partner go out with friends without us because we don’t want to intrude.
But we could think of it differently.
Yes, they’re strangers now, but what if I open up to not only the possibility of making new friends, but also of me contributing to their enjoyment or success or knowledge.
Of course we don’t want to intrude where we’re not actually welcome, but often I’ll avoid a social situation even though I am welcome…and not only do I miss out on getting to know them, but they miss out on what I bring to the table.
Next time you’re faced with an invitation, have the courage to show up. It could be the start of an amazing new connection!
Go get ‘em Tiger.
