“They don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
I was standing backstage waiting to go out and do my change keynote for 850 or so members of the US Bowling Congress. I was intimidated and my inner voice was squawking and I was suddenly in a discomfort zone I wasn’t expecting.
I remembered hearing the same inner voice about 8 years before. I was speaking for a construction company and I heard it before I went on stage.
“They don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
and once on stage, I spent the whole time repeating to myself
“Just get through it. Just get through it.”
The speech was ok, but it wasn’t good and I certainly didn’t connect with the audience or have an impact on their resistance to change.
Standing backstage at the US Bowling Congress, I realized the commonality. The audience in both cases was full of older men and apparently, my brain has an unfounded hang up about older men.
I’ve got tons of proof that older men value my work, but for some reason, I have an irrational belief that older men don’t think I bring any value and they don’t want to hear what I have to say.
Have you ever identified one of those beliefs that just makes no sense but it still runs the show? No proof of it’s validity, perhaps even proof to the contrary. Not even necessarily a reason for the belief, but it’s there, and it gets in the way.
As I stood backstage I thought, “Girl, you’ve got to get over this and get out there and do your job! It’s time to let this go!”
So, I called on a saying I use a lot when I’m unsure of myself.
“Somebody thought this was a good idea.”
I reminded myself that it was an older man who actually hired me for the job! He would not have hired me if he didn’t think his audience would like what I do, and he definitely wouldn’t have hired me if he thought they wouldn’t find value in my message.
When my confidence waivers, I rely on ‘borrowed belief.’ It’s the practice of using external evidence or the confidence of others to quiet the unhelpful thoughts I can’t get to shut up on my own.
So, next time you find yourself wrestling with an irrational belief, and you need to subdue it and move forward, borrow belief from somewhere else, and…
Go get ‘em Tiger!!
